Well, it was back to work last night. I decided not to drink. That lasted, oh, a couple of hours. I did pace myself. I came home with a great case of the hiccups. Today was a massive hangover and digestive disaster. I haven't been able to eat all day. Drinking so wasn't worth it but it did help with my nerves. I have a real hard time being in crowds. Fortunately there wasn't much of one. I made a little money. Maybe I can get enough saved up to move us back to my city. Currently we are in a small country town that offers little.
I don't want to be working at all...not lazy, I just don't do well with people here lately...that and psychotic features don't go too well with the public. At the bar, people are there largely to relax and unwind, and just as many messed up people as me. And I still freak out as I pull into the parking lot. I am scheduled for tonight and don't know if u can do it. The way I feel right now, there isn't enough Xanax in my bottle for me to walk back in the doors at work.
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So its time to leave and I can't find it in me.
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